On Tiger, Sarah, and Gate Crashers
What a news cycle! I mean, we are either living a strange dream or a novelist is writing the script for our lives. Would you have imagined two weeks ago that, among other things: Two celebrity-seeking, and financially challenged people could actually crash a White House state dinner, without an invitation? Is this possible in a nation with our levels of protection? And the Secret Service is taking the blame, even though the White House social office didn’t follow procedures.
Could you have imagined that Alan Iverson would be coming back to play in Philadelphia? Not me, but let’s face it, Iverson has always been worth the price of admission, hasn’t he?
And Tiger. Tiger is the victim of his own chain reaction collision, a real one. It is amazing how a real collision could unleash a series of events, including the tabloid outing of the greatest golfer ever. Tiger Woods a lover? The surprise story has all the makings of a reality show, and it really is. There’s an angry wife, apparently angry lovers, the tabloid titans, press agents, and even a mother and mother-in-law on the scene. But for all the money in the world, the talented Tiger wound up with some poor advice, or maybe the advice was really good, and he didn’t take it. The big mistake was not admitting his transgressions early enough. Tiger Woods is right about one thing – his personal life is his business. The problem remains that when you own the public domain, like he does, the public, the people, really own a piece of you.
It is a pity that we were distracted by these news diversions, because as we speak, the war in Afghanistan is stepping up and the health care overhaul is in mid-debate. These are two stories that will have direct impact on our lives, much more than the perils of Tiger, the strange White House crashers and the return of Alan.
Of course, there was one wacky story I forgot. Rogue Sarah Palin suggested that Barack Obama’s nation of birth might still be an issue. Sorry Sarah. That is so 2008!
Comments(92)
Oh, Larry, you are such a clown. Everyone knows I was born in “Hawaii” and not Indonesia. I mean really. It is incredible that you find space in the last snipet of your incredibly lame effort to take yet another shot at Sarah Palin. You are even lamer than me, if that is possible.
Peace. Out.
Up early today despite getting to bed really late last night. Christmas party at one of our neighbors. A bit of a hangover and daze. What to my wondering eyes should appear but a super weak blog with 3 tiny paragraphs where nothing is said. I knew in a minute it must be Larry’s work. It was thoughtless and meaningless and done in a hurry. God forbid there should be any intent or opinion. Like teenage texting or old maid banter Larry’s blog remains pointless and why do we check it? It really doesn’t matter. Pointless chatter.
I refuse to comment on these topics of drivel. I will say that as Barack points out Liberal Larry never misses an opportunity to take another shot at Sarah Palin. Why do you liberals hate her so? She is as harmless as Al Gore or Jimmy Carter but far less annoying. She is less a joke than Al Franken or Nancy Pelosi. She is more articulate than Barney Frank or Danny Rangel. She has become the liberal lightning rod. Whatever. So be it. Liberal Larry your true colors shine through each week. Not a pretty sight.
Biden/Biden in 2012! We never sleep
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Waiting for the 7:01. I did not sleep well last night. It wasn’t indigestion. It wasn’t alcohol. It wasn’t my Mastercard bill. It was this realization. Take a minute to watch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddQvhdCyhe4
Biden/Biden in 2012! We could never conceive of anything this nefarious
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By the by have I been put in solitary confinement here at Liberal Larry’s Website? Have all the other bloggers been banished by Larry and the liberal press? Disappeared mysteriously a la Vince Foster? Been sent to gulags by Barack? Or have they just gotten terminally bored and left on their on volition?
If I am talking to myself does that make me mad? If I make gaffes while I’m talking to myself does it really matter? Can I say and do ANYTHING I want if no one is paying attention?
Alas I know that Ed and Fish Filet and perhaps Yankee Air Pirate are still lurking out there in cyberland. Barry and Lord Abott and Dick Cheney are circling the site like sharks. I know countless ex-presidents and pirates and sock puppets galore are waiting for their code word to return to this once mediocre site.
Am I mad? I think not. An idiot maybe but not mad. Come with me volunteers oh volunteers.
Biden/Biden in 2012! Together we can make a difference
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The best part of the Tiger Woods story was discovering that his mother in law has a,wait for it,a “spokesperson.”You simply can’t make this stuff up.Larry,thanks for reminding us that we’re distracted by the inane (Woods,Iverson & the crashers)while you highlight the inane.
Joe,I’m still here as you can see but will remain in exile ’til the next campaign.That’s when I expect Leo,George & OOOJ back to join Ed & I.We’ll take it to another level at that point.Feel free to use that as your campaign slogan.
Larry, I had to break in and ask you an important question. I think I might be racist and I feel really bad about it. During the Eagles game yesterday I literally got sick to my stomach when they announced Mike Vick. The cameras panned the seats in the stadium and all I could see were black people wearing Mike Vick jerseys jumping up and down. It was as if I was reliving the OJ verdict all over again. I mean instead of hailing this guy as a returning savior couldn’t they just warmly applaud and move on? The guy killed dogs for fun for christ’s sake. I know, I know, we live in a country that believes in second chances, yet when children see that kind of reaction from adults to a dog killer what are they to think? Sure we’ve finally got OJ behind bars for a while but that doesn’t take back the awful celebration that occured throughout Black America when he was declared not guilty. White pool owners who maybe made a mistake go bankrupt, black dog killers who made a life of breeding pit bulls, betting on pit bulls and fighting pit bulls get to enjoy the accolades and monetary rewards of stardom. Larry, if you can help me please don’t reference slavery, Rosa Parks or how biased our educational system is. I don’t want to down play your current blog topics (they will probably be there for two weeks or so) but I don’t want you to think I am the second coming of David Duke.
Larry and VP Joe are the idiots, Ed. You are just opinionated.
Yankee Air Pirate, sounds like you are yearning for the “days of mediocracy” on this website. 2012 can’t come soon enough for a number of reasons.
Is VP Joe to parody Clement Clarke Moore above? Leave the prose to the pros, Joe.
“mediocracy ?” was that one of “w” s malaprops ?
Check this out Yankee Air Pirate:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/mediocracy
Sad that the discussion here turns to spell, grammar and alike. Perhaps if there were topics of substance to discuss…
Have you tried the fish filet sandwich at McDonalds lately? There is now more tartar sauce than fish.
Fish Filet, I don’t normally respond to others’ comments (ala larry of late) but to say that I am just opinionated is like saying Mcdonalds is just another hamburger joint that sells (by the way) a fish sandwich. Blacks in America and whites in America don’t see eye to eye on many issues. Many of them concern race. I’ve been brow beaten since the early ’70′s about being politically correct and what is there to show for it? Rap music? Rev Sharpton and his buddy Jesse Jackson? Larry telling me that some poor swim club owners must go down? That display in Atlanta by black people encouraging the likes of Vick threw the racial divide in this country back at least 10 years. The OJ aquital threw it back 40 years. So as far as I can tell we are now living in 1970 (in racial years that is). So Filet the next time you want to say that my opinion is just that, look at the racial calender. We have not come that far……….
i hope this isn’t the beginning of dementia on my part,but i don’t believe i’ve heard that word or saw it used.
BTW Larry you really missed the boat (ha ha) on the Dealware dredging issuse today. I found a used copy of the Inquirer this afternoon and it had the Delaware dredge story on the front page. It was also front page of the business section and in the leisure section they were all over the Delaware River for some reason or other. I told you the Tiger thing and the crasher thing and the Sarah thing and Afghanistan won’t sustain much local debate. You should have stuck with the Delaware River. Everyone wants to know…………
Ha Ha!
That was intended as a complement, Ed. You, of course, may interpret as you like.
Missed the 7:01. Now waiting for 7:45.
Very disappointed with premier of Men of a Certain Age. I would have expected more out of a Ray Romano production. I’ll give it a couple of weeks. Then it will be roadkill like the ‘possum.
Thank you for joining me yesterday. Several familiar names joined the discussion. Of course no one talks about Larry’s topics. Too weak and not interesting I guess.
Have you ever noticed how Fish Filet always answers in 2 sentences and generally does 3 posts back to back? Is this just habit or compulsive behavior?
Ed is ranting and needs to find Zen. Yankee Air Pirate is still trying to find his voice. That certainly seems to be a theme here.
That’s why VP Joe visits daily. I’m here as a grounding force. A catalyst of sorts. A mover and shaker. A leader of men. The next President of the USA.
Biden/Biden in 2012! We may not know the right thing to say but our mouth is always open
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Heh. Billy Bush is ghostwriting Larry’s blog.
I resent the implication that I could be in anyway responsible for this trash heap of a site. I shine on Access Hollywood, a true journalistic masterpiece, with cutting edge, in depth interviews of today’s stars. Larry skirts the issues and only does a “drive by” investigation. I’m much younger, better looking and alive.
Dear Mr Fish Filet,
In my old household, being described as “just opionated” was a dart to the heart. If Larry wasn’t off practicing for that show “Am I Smarter Than A Fifth Grader” he would tell you so himself. It remains to be seen if Larry IS actually smarter than a fifth grader, but by the nature of his column he doesn’t stand a chance. I haven’t been able to be myself lately either, you know I am very vunerable without spell check. otherwise I can write forever. It’s that darn spelling thing that gives me away. I’m sure the inner city youth feel the same way, even though they respond by blowing some dudes’s head off. But I digress…. Mr Filet if I misinterpreted you’re coment than I apologise.
Ed, perhaps I can make it up to you. I have come across a CN8 promo for Larry’s Holiday Special. I KNOW you will like it.
Just click on the link and wait for it to load. It takes about a minute but no need to click anything else. This is guaranteed to be an instant hit!
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/UHHUMTtcIpAWrc9X
Waiting in my Secret Service black SUV for the 7:01. Raining now. Expecting high winds and thunder storms within the hour. Normally it is brutal sitting here at the station. Have`to make small talk with the people. Make nice nice. Smiling and shaking hands. My God it’s the same people everyday. Don’t I get a pass? Days like today I don’t get out of the SUV until people start shuffling to the tracks. I play cards with my bodyguards. It passes the time. I don’t get wet standing in the rain. I like playing cards but today I had a big surprise. The ultimate Christmas present. An early gift from Fish Filet.
Everytime I watch this I howl. I find myself watching it over and over. I see something different each time. Hilarious! The only way this could be better is if I were in it. They could be singing as well as dancing. Hilarious! Fish Filet you made my day.
I figured we’d be talking about Harry Reid’s alledged breakthrough last night on the healthcare bill. This trumps that. Thanks for making my day Fish.
Biden/Biden in 2012! We can sing and dance
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Hey guys, I died earlier this year when I realized Barocky was Indonesian and that Glenn Beck was right about him being a fascist communist.
Now I am back to haunt the blog in spectral form. I cannot rest until Larry proofreads this tripe. This week he showed us all what a jock he is by welcoming back some guy named “Alan Iverson.” Now we know that they’re serving strong drinks courtside at Sixers’ games. Larry his name is Allen Iverson. You can look it up. Didn’t you have to read that name from the Teleprompter again and again when you were the newsreader on CBS? Didn’t it make an impression, or is it really in just in at the eye and out through the mouth without going through a brain? Man.
Well, I’m about to get my health care bill. It’s about time. Just shows what happens when you leave it to Americans. We One World types have a better work ethic and vision for the US. We understand how broken this country is and how best to fix it. We will have a health care bill before Christmas. Rejoice! Rejoice! Hallelujah!
Fish, very nice job with the video. Josh is a bit fuzzy but he does remain a bit unfocused in real life. Happy I was able to help out by busting a move.
Fish
Your Christmas present to all of us is more than I can handle. That was the funniest thing I’ve eveer seen. I just hope Larry and Ed Rendell get to see the video. That move by Larry at the end was over the top. Thanks again.
I’m happy I was able to abscond and share the CN8 promo clip prior to it running on the air. I was quite impressed with the dancing ability of the five of our heroes. I would not have guessed that Larry would have been so flexible or spry. He never ceases to amaze or leave an impression. To think I just recently believed that the only impression that Larry left was in his mattress.
Health Care Reform Bill appears to be alive and well. What can we do to put a stake in its heart?
Will Larry be asked to participate in the summer of 2010 edition of Dancing with the Stars? Perhaps he would be a better fit on So You Think You Can Dance.
I get it. Larry didn’t know how to pronounce “Allen” so the Teleprompter always said “Alan,” and that is why Larry spells it wrong over and over. I should have known.
Shouldn’t that be moolb oel daed? Is oeL manifesting himself through the medium of a teleprompter?
Waiting for the 7:01. Looks like it is going to be a beautiful day. Looks like the future is getting brighter too. Polls indicate that Barack’s popularity numbers are at an all time low at 47%. Who would have figured? Economy in dumper. Real unemployment actually near 17% and climbing. Dramatically increasing deficit. Nothing has improved at all except the housing market inventory. I use to call Barack clueless. Now I’m leaning toward useless. But at least we know he can dance :-)
“Perhaps the greatest measure of Obama’s declining support is that just 50 percent of voters now say they prefer having him as president to George W. Bush, with 44 percent saying they’d rather have his predecessor. Given the horrendous approval ratings Bush showed during his final term, that’s somewhat of a surprise and an indication that voters are increasingly placing the blame on Obama for the country’s difficulties instead of giving him space because of the tough situation he inherited. The closeness in the Obama/Bush numbers also has implications for the 2010 elections. Using the Bush card may not be particularly effective for Democrats anymore, which is good news generally for Republicans and especially ones like [former Ohio Republican Rep.] Rob Portman who are running for office and have close ties to the former president.”
Biden/Biden in 2012! Could it get any worse?
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Just finished ordering a Larry “the Elfman” Kane coffee mug. I hate to bring up Tiger again but he is making it so easy for the media. For what it’s worth, if his wife sticks by his side she will regret it to her dying day. But I guess a few hundred million could remedy that condition for now. I love how the talking heads are dealing with Tiger’s improprieties. They say he must be addicted to sex, or that years of hitting golf balls has finally gotten to him (doing sluts on the side is a form of release). Oh Oh I’ve got one. Tiger needed to have a goal (he already has enough money) So you’ll find he only has women from PGA stops where he won. Win a tournement bag a slut. That’s how I’d roll if I were Tiger. There is only two reasons to play golf. One is for money and the other is for trophies.
It is incredible how quickly the whole sorted Tiger story has unraveled. Most people would be satisfied being married to a 9 or 10.
I heard on the TV last night that Tiger is ’9 over par’. I wonder how that will affect his handicap.
Who will appear on Dancing with the Stars first: Tiger, Elin or Larry Kane?
My bet is on Elin.
“Now Anna Nicole! now, Jacko! now, Britney and Paris!
On, Tiger! On, Sarah! on, on White House Party Crashers!
To the top of the news! to the top of the call!
Now bash away! Bash away! Bash away all!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the producers the paparazzi they flew,
With the camera full of shots, and Mary Hart too.
hey Tiger how is it going dawg? woof woof! Looks like you done broke a record for the greatest fall from grace for a black man since OJ. Me? I never had whiteys’ approval. You know being a quarterback and all. Wouldn’t want to dispell the great white quaterback belief. Donavan Mcnabb will never do it because I already think he is white. (Is he a big dork or what?)
Anyhow homeboy you’ll always be welcome at one of my dog fights….er I mean one of my parties, dawg, as long as you bring that hot blonde with you. And if you can’t I’m sure you will be able to find some kind of blonde bimbo since you have already won the Masters four times. So take care my brother and remember, may the road hole always rise up to meet you, and make sure that that wind at your back is not your wife taking swings at your head with a driver.
I yearn for the days of reading Mr. Abott and George.
Waiting for the 7:01. TGIF.
I miss the old pre-elections days as well Ed. I was just an obnoxious verbose senator from Delaware. There was intelligent banter here from multiple sources. Larry would check in from time to time with his pearls of wisdom or admonishment for those that didn’t think the way he did. He didn’t write his blog topics while taking a dump in the bathroom. There was a certain cheekiness among the key bloggers. Each thinking they had the final word and the truth. Now it’s just mumbo jumbo for the most part. Pointless. Misdirected. Listless. No one takes the time to make a point. No one even discusses the assigned topics. Larry randomly changes topics often mistaking himself as an obit writer not a blog writer. Oh for the glory days of this website. I too yearn for the glory days. Do we really have to wait for 2012 or will we see a resurgence of quality blogging in 2010 with the advent of the midterm elections?
Looking forward to tomorrow. Demo on decorating a Christmas tree at Home Depot. I may pass on that. I mean really. 67 years old and I need help decorating a freaking tree? Well Jill and the kids do all the work anyway. I sit in the room in my Lazy Boy sipping Port and pointing out areas of the tree that are underdecorated. Like a grand Puba or the Godfather.
Have a great weekend.
Biden/Biden in 2012! Promising to bring the good old days back to this site and the US in general.
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i gotta say that c.clement still has it.not a lot here to work with but he pulled it out.so to speak.
Has everyone forgotten Rev. Wracist? I didn’t hear a single mention of him when Obama accepted the Peace Prize.
Did you see where they erected a statue of me commemorating my youthful days in Indonesia. Why is it that everyone there knows I was born and spent my formative years there but no one here recognizes that?
While I was winging my way back from accepting the Nobel Peace Prize in Stockholm, I was thinking about what my next great accomplishment will be. I get the Nobel Peace Prize and I’m commander in 2 wars I think are unjust. I will get my signature health care plan even though it only vaguely resembles the plan I originally put forth. Now on to Global Warming. I’ll have to squeeze Al Gore out of the limelight to get credit for this but that shouldn’t be a problem. Although large in girth, Al is a political lightweight.
Will Tiger be accepting the Ignoble Piece Prize?
Thank God I am able to visit this site and watch the Elfmen (and Hillary) do their thing. I can’t get enough of those guys. They don’t inspire much but they certainly are entertaining.
Poor VP Joe. It appears that even weekends at Home Depot aren’t enough to raise his spirits. And poor Tiger, one of his girlfriends was on national TV this morning doing a tell all. Does any one notice that all of Tiger’s girfriends have diamonds stuck on their faces? And the poor Jews. Today begins the eight days of Hanukkah. Jews must really hate this holiday. What a miracle. A lamp burned for eight days instead of one, how absurd. Now Moses parting the Red Sea, that was pretty incredible. Or how about David killing Golieth with a sling shot? Or Noah rounding up two of all the animals in the world and putting them on his boat. Whoa my God! How do you beat that for defying the odds? I’d even celebrate that holiday. Right now I’m sticking with Jesus. He has raised the dead, turned water into wine, fed a multitude of people with a loaf of day old bread and one fish, and had himself resurrected after hanging on a cross. Promised eternal life. Celebrating his birthday is the least we can do.
On my way to Maggies. Heartattack breakfast. I work out regularly so what the heck. Then I’m going to Lowes. I hear they have a demo on garage lighting systems today. Sounds fascinting. I’m there. Did you know that Popular Mechanics says that the garage is the most under lighted area in your house? They blame that for most of the mishaps and injuries in the garage. I think I need to look into this. VP Joe trips over his own words. He does not need to trip over a hammer or tire iron. I do feel like I’m cheating on Home Depot. I have religiously been going there for demos on Saturday mornings since 2002. By going to Lowes I feel like I’m cheating on HD. Well I guess I can find 8 more home improvement stores to cheat with. If it is good enough for Tiger it’s good enough for me. Go Tiger. Go Tiger.
Ed I’m with you on the Big Guy. We put out the nativity scene each year in our front yard. We go to midnight mass. We aren’t the best Catholics but we go for appearances sake. It’s all about image for me. First time I don’t go to mass on Christmas the press is publishing I slept in and I’m off the ticket for 2012.
May you all enjoy this holiday season in your own way. I enjoy it by going back to the Larry Elfman video like Ed.
Feliz navidad to the fastest growing voter base in America!
Biden/Biden in 2012! Hablamos español y el amor tacos
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Ed, since you liked the last CN8 clip so much, here is an early Christmas present. The Larry Christmas Cane Singers and Dancers perform a CHristmas Medley.
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/mvzwVVvKPcYLRk46Kh6V
Why am I up so early? Good question. Force of habit? Nightmare? Anticipation of Christmas? Concerns about the country? Not really. Perhaps a little indigestion. Maybe hangover.
Hey I come up with a great not good but great idea and it gets panned in USN&WR.
http://www.usnews.com/blogs/peter-roff/2009/12/11/the-supreme-court-conrad-black-and-joe-bidens-bad-idea.html
My latest brainstorm being able to charge people with the crime of “honest services fraud,” something that would permit prosecutors to charge public officials with depriving the public of its intangible right to receive the honest services of public servants. Genius. Pure genius. Skeptics argue the law would be “chaotic” and a “direct threat to liberty”. Dudes this is VP Joe and this is America. Don’t shoot down my good idea just because you don’t understand it. Read the bill.
You see I need to get out from underneath the black cloud (no pun intended) that is Barack. He reigns negativity. He’s got bad charma. I am the positive guy. I like to laugh. I have good ideas being buried by the king of negativity and the proprietor of bad ideas. I need to get my own agenda out there before 2012.
During the 12 days of Christmas I will unveil my plan to fix this country and one hour Bidenize America. It starts tomorrow. I know you can’t wait.
Fish another great not good but great piece. Thank you. Emmy material.
Biden/Biden in 2012! The 12 days of Christmas will never be the same.
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Waiting for the 7:01. Going in early today. Last week before Christmas recess. Lots of things to do. Parties. Gifts. Tree lightings. Oh yeah there is that pesky healthcare thingy.
I promised you the 12 days of Christmas from Joe Biden. These are the top 12 things that a Joe Biden administration would do to stimulate the economy, fix housing market and put Americans back to work. We’ll call this One Hour Bidenizing.
Day One of Biden Presidency serves to stimulate the economy and create jobs. In Joe Biden’s America we will create a personal rebate check and income tax deduction for cool cellphones like the IPhone, Blackberry or Droid. This is how it works. Every American goes to his local cellphone store and buys a cool cellphone like the IPhone or Blackberry Storm or Mot Droid. It costs them $100-200 out of their pocket but they mail in a rebate request to our newly established National Rebate Center in Kansas City for a direct rebate. That way they can get all the bells and whistles. Now every American can have a cool phone like me. They can text or tweet or check internet like me. Very cool. Okay you say what about those annoying monthly payments? No problemo. We offer an income tax deduction for all calling minutes and premium services. They get a tax deduction of up to $150 per month or $1800 per year. How cool would it be if everyone was connected with pimped out cellphones? Very cool.
You ask how much will this cost? That is a fair question. Short answer is less than the bank bailout or healthcare. Let’s do the math. There are about 308M people in America today. We will exclude everyone 14 years old or under. They can wait until they are 15 for the super cool cellphone. Parents can give them their old flip phones. That leaves about 80% of the population or 246.4M. So we prepare to mail out 246.4M rebate checks of $150 for a total of less than $37B. Now we need to staff the new National Rebate Center. If they work at the normal inefficiency of the normal government worker they should be able to process 10 rebates per day or 2200 per year. Divide 246.4M rebates by 2200 rebates/year/worker and you get 112K workers needed. We have just created 112K new jobs! If we overpay these people at an average salary of $50K per year we get $5.6B so with benefits, sick days, malingering, waste, theft, retirement and vacation that’s about $10B a year.
The personal income tax laws will have to be changed to allow for the monthly bills to be deducted. So if the average annual cellphone bill will be $1800 that will be their maximum deduction. So $1800 times 246.4M taxpayers is only $443.5B in lost tax revenues.
So what is this plan going to cost taxpayers?
$443.5B in lost tax revenue
$10B for newly created jobs at NRC
$37B for cellphone rebates
$490.5B in stimulus and new jobs!
Benefits to the American public:
112K new jobs created
$37B in sales created
Everyone gets a cool tricked out cellphone
This is what Joe Biden’s America is all about!
On the First day of Christmas Joe Biden gave to me a pimped out cellphone for a year for free.
Biden/Biden in 2012! A nation that tweets together stays together.
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I don’t think this plan was official sanctioned by the Administration. In fact, I know it wasn’t. Please retract statement.
What is up with this Obama guy? The Peace Prize, 60 Minutes, an Oprah special last night, this friday it’s Denmark. Enough already! I can’t help but think that sooner rather than later it will be all Obama all the time. I guess it will be better than all Tiger all the time………
Beam me up Scotty.
Sarah, when you arrive “up” there, tell Larry it’s time to change blog topics. See what other old topics he can “dredge” up.
Ed, not so much on second clip? I actually thought it was better.
Ed, what you are seeing from Obama is a carefully planned and orchestrated counterattack on the press. Preemptively hitting them just as they start to turn on his sorry ass.
I will use phasers to hunt wolfs and polar bears.
Fish,
The first time is always the best time. Go ask Tiger. As for obama you might be right, except it’s not the media he is after. He is after Limbaugh, Beck and O’Reily. I don’t happen to go along with these guys either but it does make one pause to hear their rhetoric. Last night on Oprah, Obama gave himself a B+ grade on his first year in office. A B+? Where did this guy go to school, South Phila. High? The economy is shit, the wars are still waging, the racial divide is deeper than ever, and the American morale is as low as I’ve ever seen. And this guy gives himself a B+ grade for running the country. What country is he talking about, Ethiopia? Fuck him and all his fucking socialist advisors. We’ve entered the slippery slope and I see no end to the free fall we are on. Our dependence on the Federal government is beyond repair. Gone are the days of independence and individual achievment. Big brother is upon us in so many ways. I once believed in mutual cooperation but it has been turned into pure socialism. First it was the auto indusry now it’s healthcare and don’t let me mention our educational system. Education…. what a farce. What Education!! Look at what billions of dollars handed to government bureaucrats in Philadelphia have produced.
The billions of dollars spent of Phildelphia
Schools have created perhaps the best example
of institutional black racism in the country.
Black school ditrict administrators have allowed
greater atrocities and humiliation of Asian
than was ever inflicted upon Guantanamo prisoners.
We should just allow black students to rendention
Al Queda prisoners in the school district.
There will be no investigation or even concern
that human and civil rights are being violated.
Waiting for the 6:10. Busy week in DC. Barack will be calling all Dems to White House to tell them that healthcare must and will pass for their own well being. They either get on board and salvage a win or they will lose in their districts next year. How can this be so hard with a clear majority in both houses? Maybe because it is such a bad plan. Maybe because the American people have read more about the bill than their representatives. This will likely pass the Senate in some watered down form in the next 6 weeks. Then through the House in another 4 weeks. By February we’ll have a healthcare bill. Barack and Dems will be celebrating. It may be our last hurrah.
Now back to more positive things. The 2nd Day of Christmas President Biden will bring to you:
Super Bowl tickets. Well not everyone. The government will take over the Super Bowl by eminent domain for the NFL. Government will pick the largest venue. Likely Beaver Stadium at Penn State (107,282) or University of Michigan stadium (106,201). These are state run institutions. They will comply. We run a national lottery for all personal income tax returners. It will encourage everyone to file. We will select 50K lucky winners. Each will receive 2 Super Bowl tickets for the following year. What a country! Everybody wants to go to a Super Bowl. Most people don’t have access to tickets. Now everyone will have equal access. You ask about the remaining 6-7K tickets. After players get their fair share the remaining tickets will be divided evenly between all Dems in Congress. It only seems fair that if we are running the whole show we should be rewarded. To the victors go the spoils.
You ask what if someone doesn’t want their tickets? In that rare situation they can sell them back to their Democratic congressman at face value. He will know how to use them.
What does this cost Americans? Well we’ll need about 1K administers and a disproportionate number of middle managers. I estimate about $56M before benefits so round up to $100M.
Benefits include:
About every 2,464 years you can expect to win Super Bowl tickets. No guarantees.
Government gets all revenues from concessions and parking. Estimated value of $5.5M. Put that toward the deficit.
Your Democratic Congressman no longer have to scalper prices for tickets.
Roughly 1,125 new jobs are created.
This is what Joe Biden’s America is all about!
On the Second day of Christmas Joe Biden gave to me 2 Super Bowl tickets
And a pimped out cellphone for a year for free.
Biden/Biden in 2012! Front row!
Sent Via Blackberry by Verizon
Joe Lieberman is my butt prince.
To read or to quit reading that is the question. Whether it is nobler of the mind to suffer through another week of Sarah and Tiger or just stick a pen in my head and end it all, that is the question. Larry, your loyal readers deserve more than the bimonthly change of subject from you. Honestly, we’d like to hear from you more often. This is an incredible place to voice ones opinions, even though there are only four or five of us that actually come here. So don’t take everything so personal. We’re just venting….. Who doesn’t need to vent in this day and age? It’s like that guy in the movie Network. I’m mad as hell and can’t take it any longer. Can’t.. won’t same difference (almost). Things are so complicated in this day and age. I realized that when I discovered I couldn’t do my own taxes anymore. Add to that Global warming or should I say “climate change”, Zillions of dollars spent by the government, wars without justification, politicans sleeping with whores, political correctness, and much more. If a lowly schlep like me doesn’t vent once in a while it gets to be too much. I guess I could just go and hide my head in the sand and ignore world events and such but I feel obligated to at least try to understand the world.
are we still talking about tiger & sara ?what is the lefts’ fascination with sara palin ? it’s truly mind boggling.
Dear Fish,
Could you do me a favor? This would be for YAP (in free fall). Could you do an elfyourself with Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Barney Frank and oh …… maybe Michael Nutter? I’m sure it would make his day …… and mine.
I like Sarah Palin because she was almost a heartbeat away from the presidency! The second best the republican party had to offer. What a gal! She is the future.
I saw that Joe Lieberman is getting a Dutch rudder from John McCain for making himself an annoyance, the one man who will tell everyone else how it is going to be even though he only represents one tiny state. John would do a Dutch rudder great because of the way his arms stick out.
Larry change your blog and then join me on the Jersey shore. We can cruise for Alycia Lane.
Waiting for the 7:01. It is cold out here. Well not here in the Secret Service SUV but outside. Brrrr.
All this talk about this stupid and staged show Jersey Shore. I have not seen it but what is all the fuss? Just a bunch of guidos and bimbettes at the beach getting busy. That’s real life right? Young Joe was quite the stud cruising the beach and boardwalk in Wildwood in the day. I was no match for the guidos but this was pre-hairplugs and gray hair. Studly!
Time for the 3rd day of Christmas. The Delaware Valley SPCA and animal shelters all over America have been overrun with pit bulls since the Mike Vick arrest. Awareness has hightened since he was released from prison and moved into town. I guess that increased awareness of these once proud animals. Anyway there are now 185M pit bulls in animal shelters across America. The cost of maintaining these dogs is astronomical. In VP Joe’s America every tax paying family will receive 3 pit bulls. You might say “Hey I got small kids or other pets Joe”. I say take this one for the team. So what if your kids or family pets are intimidated or mutilated by these 3 new family members. These will be soon be new family members. Treat them as such. Like your wierd Uncle Bob or Mother in Law. Embrace the change. Just think 185M pit bulls in every backyard and roaming loose in your neighborhood. Call it the Mike Vick Effect. We in the Delaware Valley should be particularly proud to own these dogs!
You say “Hey VP Joe I don’t want a dog. I have cats.” Don’t worry that problem will take care of itself!
This is what Joe Biden’s America is all about!
On the Third day of Christmas Joe Biden gave to me 3 shelter pit bulls
2 Super Bowl tickets
And a pimped out cellphone for a year for free.
Biden/Biden in 2012! Embrace change baby!
Sent Via Blackberry by Verizon
BOb Dole and I are going to get some viagra and hit the trashy strip clubs. Want in Larry? Change your blog.
Ed, I must really be in the Christmas spirit, make that Holiday spirit. We must remain PC on this site at all costs.
Below is a ElfYourself with some of the former and better known bloggers on this site:
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/lOnkszgpuhhGmVhcaoUg
Leo has his face on the cup and is doing that lasso move.
George is sitting alone on the hay bale pile.
YAP is doing the solo Irish Jig.
Jack Russell is doing the cartwheel.
OOOJ is the 5th character.
I hope you enjoy. YAP has not commented at all on the whole ElfYourself cavalcade of videos.
George looks like Rudy Gulianni,at least a younger Rudy.
How is the YAP resemblence? Maybe a few more gray hairs?
My last video. My final gift.
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/UkUGa21D5IaeTUyZfLxS
YAP has a full head of dark hair,thank you.
Teddy without a drink for a full thirty seconds ?
Excellent point. Probably buried in a case of Chivas.
YAP, any chance you’ll pull out of this death spiral before Christmas? Too many Christmas specials on TV?
Nice work Fish, I’ll bet Barney Frank has donned an elf costume more than once in his life.
No comment from Larry yet. I’m worried that he won’t tell us where our Christmas party will be this year. Larry is hurting a little in the pocketbook lately after Comcast announced it’s intent to purchase half of NBC. No Christmas bonus this year. I’m sure he will have to shorten his stay at Del Boca Vista come this January. Larry, if you want to stay within your budget there is a place called Popis on 20th St in South Phila. I think they have a room that would fit all your blogging buddies. It’s called the broom room ……… or to be more presise it’s called the broom closet. Ho Ho ho!
Fish-I’ll be fine,thanks for caring.All I need is a topic change & a decent topic.
Good luck with that, YAP. Has that ever happened on this site?
I even managed to get VP Joe in the clip. He’s about the only regular here lately.
Did you notice that even the really mean blogger got tired and left? This site sucks the life out of everyone.
I suspect that Larry is home lighting his candles. He has no time for the ‘cleverness’ and ‘horseplay’ here on his site.
May be if we get the count up over 100 Larry will pay attention. That has not worked in the past but perhaps it will now.
I may need some help getting the count over 100. What do I talk about?
No one commented on my comment that the McDonalds fish filet sandwich has more tartar sauce than fish now. Everyone is given the assignment to get a fish filet sandwich at McDs over the holidays.
Does Barney need an elf suit to be a fairy? 4 out of 5 doctors recommend it.
Does anyone want Wii Tiger Woods World Tour 2010 Golf for Christmas? Personally, I’d rather have the Wii Tiger Woods World Bimbo Tour if it is realistic enough.
Did you see Stephen A Smith on Sean Hannity the other night? He said that black females were upset that Tiger was only fooling around with honkies. That is wrong on so many levels.
Did you hear that Tiger Woods is 9 over par and playing out of the rough? I wonder if he decided to take a hiatus for family reasons or just had a bad lie.
What is the PGA ruling for a bad lie? Play through or drop another lie?
fish-that reminds me of colin firth ruminating about what the one year anniversary present is.willem dafoe bails him out on that one.
I think the press needs to lighten up on Tiger.
Just because he’s rich and conducted himself
with an obscene level of entitlment doesn’t
mean he’s not hurting. Many of the clubs that
didn’t allow blacks feel they are now being
vindicated for discriminating, that’s probably
wrong, and another sad side effect of Tiger’s
Personal implosion.